Sunday, August 5, 2012

Where to begin?

Well, for starters my fiance commited suicide on June 11th of this year. To be honnest, he's alot of the reason im doing this. He saved my life so manny ties, and now its so hard to think that hes just gone, we weren't together very long but anyone who has experianced true love and love at first sight (both happened the instant I met him even though I had previosly believed them to be false) knows that time does not have a true berring on love. This blog is to help me blow off some daily steam away from facebook. I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but I hope that someone somewhere does, it might help. Today his ex girlfriend contacted me and ade me feel like total shit. She left him to be with the abwsive babbydaddy she is with now and is constantly throghing her daghter in my face (i dont know if she knows or not bt i miscarried his child abot a month after he pulled the trigger) She basicly told e it was my falt that he had done it. yes we were fighting that day but how does she have room to talk when he fell in love with her and she demolished him. She shattered h and tore him apart and now blames me becase for the last few months of his life I took care of him. Idk he had about as fcked p of a life as I did bt he was strong before her. His whole family watched him dwindle away after her. And everyone told me when we met it brogh life back into his life. (if that makes sence) She made me so mad i through the phone he left me and shattered the screen. which only made my day worse. Out of everything his remaining items seem to be the things breaking fastest. Then she went as far as to call me a slt becase Im in a relationship now, per bothhis, and myown faily (let me just state real quick, that the gy im now with lets just say already knows that he has a shorter life than most and when we met he saved me from commiting suicide to be with David [my ex-fiance]. so am i wrong for falling for him?) now now what we have is not what me and david had but my man is sweet and careing and hepled me pt stitches in when i ct too deep and even as we speek (more or less) is comeing home to nrse me back from today s near deat experiance. he is THE ONLY REASON im not dead right now. Bt i wold have been fine today if it wasnt for her. Not to mention when she left him was when david started cttin deep and becomeing trely sicidal not jst a thoght bt tre contemplation. I told her that I hated her a few days ago becase she asked my honnest oppiniion, and I gave it to her, was I wrong?